freedomwolfleik

It's been two weeks from my last mark on the journal, so let's update.
I'm writing my poems clean with 'puter and maybe,maybe,maybe get a book published. I'm gonna try anyways.
There's a strange big cut in my head, it's painful and wont close. 
Today i've neeb cleaning my appartment. What I found was not nice...in my dry food closet was lots and I mean LOTS of these bugs. climbing in my fleurs and sugar. I took a serious serial mass murder killing at them. Hopefully I got the most.

Music: Bobby Vinton. I love these 50's-60's music. I mean the lollipop song is just great!
When this CD ends I'll probably put my old favorite guy, Hoyt Axton, to sing.
 Tomorrows football, yay, I love playing football, floorball,ice hockey and such.
 
I'm gonna go riding next week again.
Sad news though. One of the neighbours back in Nousiainen lost a horse. there was an accident which lead to point that they had to put her down. She suffered.

I'm pissed off!!!!!

I have to get these thoughts written down. I'm talking about drawing, art. For me drawing is as important as breathing air. I want to be excellent drawist. As it is spiritual to me , I am ,however, prepared to draw for money. it is my calling, why would not I be allowed to draw so that I could make my living out of it?
That's why I have recently stater drawing adult furry art 'cause I've noticed there's a market for it. Am I compromising, absolutely.And I need to do so. Simple reason..I need money to buy food, clothing and sometimes something not even a bit useful things. I don't know what this makes me. I must do this. Outside of all this I am trying to publish my own book. I try to get foot between the door. 
So I have come to this conclusion, I continue drawing spiritual stuff AND the art what gets me money.

I've been drawing alot today and I'm tired, but these ideas keeps flowing in my mind and I gotta draw now that it is possible. It's so cool. I might offer some of my work for sale on Furbid.ws. Or do a commission. Eventhough I'm feeling artistic, it still isn't easy. You don't just happen to draw a good picture, you need to work on the idea, technique and such. Sometimes creating is painful, sometimes it is bit easier.

I have to go to bank tomorrow, they are charging my account 20€ more than they should. I hate going to bank. I tried to deal it on the phone(which I also hate), but they had too long que, 10 minutes. I didn't feel necessary to hang on the phone for frikkin' 10 minutes!

Have to wake early tomorrow, since I have to go to lab once again and gotta fill my docer. And caretaker is coming over to check on things. My place is "bit" messy, but it's my mess, my business. I haven't had an inspiration to start vacuuming.

I'm gonna get a web site someday.

I've been at the hospital. Yes, for 5 days. So my Juhannus went by, while I was freezing with high running fever, headache and all of kinds of pain. It started as a small headache, but then I started freezing and my fever got to 40,2'C...I was taken to hospital to Turku, I spent there maybe 7 hours and was transferred to another hospital, where I spent the night and was then taken back to the hospital number one. there I was admitted finally a ward.
My fever went up and down, I had serious neck and head pains and my eyes hurt. Doctors don't know what was causing all this. I was released from hospital yesterday.
I had a senile old woman as my roommate, she was harmless yet bit annoying.
I've been sick all spring, I'd like to be healthy now.....

Petra

I and my boyfriend broke up today. It's sad , but something we both felt like to do. I know it is a right thing to do, but it doesn't take the hurt away.
"Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything I thought I knew. You were the one I loved..."
Michelle Branch song.

The only thing good in this situation is that I feel like doing art.
This was just a short note to my little journal.

Leikoss

It is so damn hard, relationships.

My boat is going to hell.